When you hear the word fetish, what comes to mind? If you’re considering buying a sex doll for the first time, you may be wondering if that means you have a sex doll fetish. It may be your questioning if that’s a normal thing or something that suggests you’re not normal. We get it! But the truth is, when it comes to what each person considers to be sexy, or kinky, or weird, there is a huge range of interests, quirks, turn ons and turn offs for the simple reason that we all find different things hot.
There used to be a lot of stigma around fetishes, but we are beggning to learn how common fetishes are. For example, a recent study in Montreal found that almost half of folks interviewed were aroused or intrigued by at least one type of fetish. I would assume that the actual number is even higher because this study involved a series of phone interviews. Perhaps not everyone was open to telling the stranger on the other end of the line their deepest darkest desires. In addition, there seems to be a gender difference, where men are significantly more open about having fetishes than women. However, perhaps some of this is due to higher societal acceptance of male sexuality in general.
The research shows that kinky people are overall less neurotic, more social, and happier than those who are not kinky. So, for the most part, folks with fetishes are well-adjusted, friendly ordinary people.
What does the research say about fetishes?
The word fetish is no longer a taboo term. Things that may once have been hidden behind closed doors are now being talked about openly in homes and offices, being made into TV shows, best-selling books, Hollywood movies and generally more openly accepted in popular culture.
When you’re finally about to buy your dream sex doll, it’s natural that you may find yourself feeling worried about what a partner, friend, co-worker or relative would think if they heard about your new toy. One of the prime concerns that you may have is whether or not they will think that you have some kind of sex doll fetish. A key thing to keep in mind here if you’re navigating this territory for the first time is that many of us not only have our own fetishes, we’re incredibly open about them and it’s not something to feel ashamed or embarrassed about.
Unsurprisingly, there has been a lot of research carried out on the subject of fetishes – showing just how normal it really is to be turned on by a wide range of different stimulus, from body parts to dress up, and be open to that exploration.
If you’re worried that you’re alone in having a fetish (whether that’s a sex doll fetish or otherwise), there’s no need to feel singled out or intimated. In a bid to share just how normal fetishes are, we’ve delved deep into a sea of research. We think you may be comforted to know that billions of people around the world are busy enjoying many kinks and fetishes of their own and it’s crystal clear that enjoying a fetish is way more common than you may think.
Here’s what we found:
According to research carried out by a British sex toy retailer, the most popular fetishes in Britain include everything from the tamer end of the spectrum, such as recording a sexual encounter and indulging in role play in the bedroom to things such as Urolagnia (those who become aroused by urine), swinging or group sex and exhibitionism (almost 6 in 10 Brits say they have had sex in their back yards). That doesn’t even consider things like BDSM, spanking, rubber, latex and leather and foot worship.
Across the Atlantic too, there’s a wide spectrum of behaviors and interests that people classify as a fetish. Researcher Justin Lehmiller, PhD delved into bedrooms across the country, speaking to couples and individuals about their fetishes for his book, ‘Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life’.
As with the British research, Lehmiller found that Americans fantasize about or indulge in a wide range of fetishes on a regular basis. The most common are BDSM and biting (the most popular according to Lehmiller), foot fetishes (something 1 in 7 adults said they had fantasized about) and bodily fluids (including spit, breast milk and feces). There’s also cuckolding, exhibitionism and dressing up as an animal to have sex (known as furries).
When it comes to fetishes, the list goes on and on. It covers the whole alphabet in fact. We’re talking age play, electro stimulation, humiliation, klismaphilia (less exotically also known as arousal by enemas), pregnancy, quirofilia (an attraction to the hands or fingers), spectrophilia (arousal or sexual relations with a ghost) and wax play.
But what about a sex doll fetish? Before we get to that, let’s quickly recap what a fetish actually is. According to Marriam Webster, the dictionary definition of fetish is “an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification.”
The plain English version of that definition is that it’s simply something that turns you on. So that could be a part of the body, a certain type of behavior like spanking or being watched but it could also be an object in the form of a particular toy that really gets you off – such as a sex doll.
If you think about it, every human on the planet has some kind of fetish because we all have that one thing that really turns us on. We also all have our own personal scale of what we’re accepting of or deem to be ‘weird’. You might find it weird that your next-door neighbor lives to get down to it in their back yard for example, but have no problem with the fact they like spanking, water play or bondage in the bedroom.
Likewise, what others think of your sexual desires says more about their own personal tastes than it does yours. As with anything in life, no two people are identical. We don’t all have carbon copy tastes or opinions and nor do we all have the same turn ons.
If you consider a sex doll to be hot, why should the fact that someone else prefers to dress up as a stuffed animal to have sex stop you from indulging in something that brings you pleasure? The answer of course is that it shouldn’t.
Is a sex doll fetish normal?
Strictly speaking, a sex doll fetish could be classed as objectum sexuality. We talked earlier about the fact that fetishes are mainstream in today’s media-driven, 24/7 Internet accessible society. However, it is impossible to deny that far fewer people will openly share that they own a sex doll than would admit to owning a vibrator for example. This might be leading you to wonder if it’s normal to have a sex doll fetish. We’re here to tell you, it totally is. But, you don’t have to take our word for it.
Glamour magazine says that not only is objectum sexuality entirely normal, the high-tech nature of today’s sex toys also means that more and more people will find themselves enjoying the presence of a sex doll. Contributor Angie Jones says, “…in the age of rapidly advancing sex doll technology, we may all soon be a little bit engaged in objectum sexuality. Such perspective is crucial because it helps us understand and empathize with those who do catch feelings for more “out there” objects, because kink shaming sucks.”
Is it healthy to have a sex doll fetish?
As we have seen from the abundance of research carried out on this topic, it’s entirely normal to have a fetish. According to Health.com, some psychiatrists in fact say fetishes don’t even exist because a fetish is really just a sexual interest. Others such as the couples therapist Dr Barry McCarthy say fetishes are “totally normal variations on sexual behavior.” In short, you don’t need to worry about a sex doll fetish!
But is there a time when it becomes unhealthy to have a fetish? Of course, everyone’s interpretation of what is normal for them and healthy for the individual will vary. Dr McCarthy caveats his description of fetishes as being a normal part of life as healthy “so long as they don’t involve the use of force, kids, public sex, or self-destructive behavior.”
If you’re worried that you may be falling into a pattern of unhealthy behavior, it’s worth asking yourself a few honest questions. As with any type of unhealthy behavior, a fetish can become damaging if it becomes an obsession or begins to negatively impact other areas of your life. One example would be if you begin to feel isolated. Have you noticed that you are now choosing to remain at home when you mighty previously have socialized more? Do you find it more of a challenge to carry out everyday tasks that you might previously have enjoyed, such as finding time to pursue a hobby?
If you find a certain behavior is impacting on your personal relationships with friends, family or co-workers or if it’s having a negative effect on your ability to work or study, that is also a warning sign that you may be straying a little too close to unhealthy behaviors.
Should you be worried about a sex doll fetish?
As we have covered, having a sex toy that excites you is an overwhelmingly normal adult characteristic. Buying (and enjoying!) a sex doll is simply another piece of the puzzle that makes up your sexual persona and another form of exploration and experimentation. Some people choose to experiment with water play, others with handcuffs. Choosing to enjoy a sex doll is no different. Now we’ve cleared that up, let’s find your dream doll!