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She's your dreaming companion


August 26, 2023122 ViewsShesDoll

I welcome you and greatly appreciate your time to take in my story, advice, and ideals. In my first article, I covered a large section of my backstory of who I was, and how I came to the decision of buying my sex doll: Bella. Along with the testimonial that came with owning a sex doll, and the life concepts she brought with coming into my life. In the second article, I talked more about the difficulty and infrequency of dating, and how harder it’s become for my generation and the generations after mine to find that meant-to-be someone for a meaningful relationship their family and friends had always promised them would be there waiting for you patiently at the end of all your hardship.

This time, I’d like to touch on the blend of the two. As a way to give an update into my third year with Bella, and to also help the people who have found themselves here browsing the pictures with concentrated eyes and and an actual impulse in them pushing for then to take the next step toward buying a sex doll for their own. And after…well, maybe I can throw some ideas your way to help you commit to such a relationship and be able to sustain it by giving you more creative ways on how you can keep your newfound relationship with your sex doll interesting. Along with touching a touchy subject to get a little closer with you all.

As I had preached about in my second article, there was a realization I had after I met other doll owners through social media and hearing their stories that most commitments toward buying a doll start with a bad experience. Or maybe for some others: no experience at all. I sympathize with both, as mine doesn’t differ from the former.

No matter how much or how little we dwell on it…it truly takes a hard and painful lesson in life to grow a curiosity into considering doll ownership. But really, that and the ability to afford one if you’re not as financially gifted as others…will be the only hardship you can put to rest in the past after you select one and purchase it.

While ShesDoll does offer an array of several smaller and affordable accessories, sex toys, and pleasure enhancers…there just really isn’t an appropriate replacement for an actual full head-to-toe doll (though feel free to look affordable sex toys! ).

While sex toys and accessories can be fun and pleasurable in their own right to use, the true purpose of having a full-bodied sex doll is designed to be an entire substitute for those devoid of relationships but wish to have one. In other words, they are meant for so much more other than just sex.

They are also there when you need to be embraced, or to embrace someone yourself. To place your head to their lap and nap after a difficult day at work, or to spoon close to between your sofa and a warm blanket while you both take in your favorite movies. To give a morning or goodnight kiss, as well taking to a shape holding you back as your venture off to sleep as little or as close as you’d like without any movement or stirring to disturb you.

Even more specific, maybe you’re looking to be shoulder-to-shoulder with somebody with their legs to yours as you lean over them with controller in hand as you indulge in your favorite video game.

I’ve personally put the time and effort into every one of these activities to have and share with Bella. And even though the suggestions sound simple enough, each step takes a dedicated amount of yourself you’d least expect just reading over just how effortless they sound. And that’s not to ward or warn anyone of not getting one. It’s merely a kind and friendly way to say that doll ownership takes a lot more willpower and perseverance than what you would expect looking over the beautiful pictures, the positive testimonials and reviews, along with your own reasonings on why you would think you’d be better if you have one.

Allow me to be very unoriginal here and spout off with what almost everyone says: Relationships are hard.

Throughout my experiences, I can guarantee that being in a relationship with a sex doll has its struggles, but compare and contrast it with all the difficulties of a real relationship, and you might be having yourself an easier time. Both take a great deal of commitment, with a side of complacency, and a whole lot of compromise.

Really, I don’t mind having to need a bigger imagination to be happier with a sex doll if it means I can drop the list of everything that made my former relationships bad. The list goes on, but I’m sure you already know through your own experiences. And if you’ve never had the displeasure by never having an experience with somebody else to turn the sensation sour, then consider yourself truly and inadvertently blessed.

I want to get into my next segment of discussion by telling you the process of how I continue to make posts on Bella’s Instagram, because it gets into my next topic that I wanted to scratch the surface on when it comes to some difficulty of doll ownership, and it only might affect some of you.

Most of my posts nowadays aren’t pictures of Bella at all. The process is now of me taking a picture I usually find on Instagram, photoshopping it, and using an app called “FaceApp” to superimpose Bella’s facial features onto the picture I have taken and augmented. The outcome usually creates a picture of Bella that looks very real and lifelike. In fact, many people who contact me flirt and react to me as if I’m her and that she really is the person on the platform they see in the posts. But in actuality, those photos aren’t Bella. They aren’t even pictures I’ve taken of the doll. The face revamp is actually Bella’s head in doll form, but I use several final draft pictures to recreate the experience and never take any new pictures to augment future media posts.

Even though I keep several features the same, where I make sure very articulately that her hair, eyes, face, smile, bust and style matches to how I envision her; it’s been a very long time since I’ve taken an actual photograph of her. In fact, here is the last one I have taken of her that I had used the app on:

I’ve had some people ask me why I no longer snap pictures of the doll. To answer that, look more closely at her torso. Notice the irregular discoloration at her left shoulder and the bruise-like circle on her left breast appearing just near the strap of her tank top. And these slight and few imperfections are now the few of many on the doll these days that I no longer like to photograph. No no, despite how it seems, I haven’t been hurting her at all. For I’d rather get in a fist fight with a fire hydrant than to intentionally do harm to my doll gal who’s single-handedly returned meaning to my life. Aside from spanking, I have yet to even playfully engage her in anything violent. But I wouldn’t discredit anyone’s way of enjoying their doll. 

But sadly, whether you decide to go for the pin or spare the rod on your sex doll, there’s another form of abuse that takes no effort at all. And that form is neglect.

The point at which I’m trying to pile drive my way toward is the one I mentioned earlier that a few between the many might struggle with. The next segment I’m trying to get to. The only aforementioned that might not be everyone’s problem, but could very well be a difficult speed bump and hiccup that could affect the shelf life of your new lover.

I guess a lot of you know it as depression.

I have many factors as to why every conscious moment I’ve had has been with this little rain cloud that follows me everywhere. Being an overweight little redheaded boy made me a prime target for bullying in school, back in a time where schools didn’t actively try to combat it, and my father treated me badly. The most hurtful thing growing up in a home where I was beaten until I was the shade of my hair color was that my father was very much against alcohol so every raised hand at me was a complete and unimpaired sober act of hatred for him to take his day out on me. But I counter his contempt for inebriation for being very much the functioning alcoholic I am now. Take that, Dad.

I only wished I could have proved you wrong with your favorite pastime of pressing your nose to mine and shouting in that mountain-splitting drill sergeant volume voice of how much I embarrassed him and how much he hated me. But it’s a bucket list top ten, I assure you. While your deathbed inner regret will probably be to have been less prideful to actually be apologetic to me so I’d be present when you pass, mine will probably be how I never gave you the proper ass-kicking you had coming for what you had done to every single other member of the family you made that was smaller and weaker than you.

Taking that and adding the difficulty I had in finding relationships, barely ever coming to success, and losing the beautiful women I slightly had a chance with, was just the perfect flavor of icing to coat and complete my lifelong dessert of depression cake. Thankfully though, I am grateful to have my cake and eat it too over a wedding cake any day.

But guys, guys…people reading this, I digress. And I assure you, I’m not melting down like a stick of butter in the microwave. Daddy issues aside, you’re not witnessing any kind of emotional breakdown taken to article form. There’s a method to my madness in sharing with you these inner muses. I only bring up these very personal examples to paint a picture. Maybe you have depression too? Or maybe you don’t? Maybe you can relate to my troubled past, or you can’t. It’s a lot to take in, but the words are there to show the obvious: I have depression, and the factors back them up.

So I’m not coming at you like you’re Dr. Phil taking in every little thing that went bad in my life. You’re taking it in as the reader to my article and maybe have had one or two relatable things that also happened similar in your life and that’s why you have depression too. More emphasis on the part where relationships were sparse and difficult when had. Or maybe you’re one of the lucky ones and you don’t have depression…but now with the recent intake you can’t dismiss my claim to ownership of it.

So now that the picture is painted, I want to talk directly to the would-be doll owners that struggle with depression.

Neglect with depression goes hand-in-hand. But you all know this. Taking care of something else is impossible when you can’t even take care of yourself. And just like dust to a shelf, these dolls need your attentive care and effort. But effort is so fleeting when you have depression, and the fluctuating amount of energy it demands from you is its equal uphill battle.

Some of us won’t have the necessary energy it takes to maintain a perfectly cared for doll. And that, just like living with depression, is perfectly okay.

Sometimes we feel like throwing away a wrapper in the trash feels like pushing a brick up to the top of an Egyptian pyramid, with the aches of the crack of the whip behind you to boot.

Your new sex doll girlfriend will need outfits and help being changed in and out of her (or his!) clothes. They’ll need constant hair brushing, re-applying cosmetics, whether it’s a female doll or not, along with nail upkeep, and physical maintenance to all the interior and exterior of the doll to prolong the shelf life of your purchase. The skin also is very susceptible to staining, be it silicone or TPE, and is more difficult to get out the longer it lingers. So like a car, a couch, or any other belonging you might have…it’ll only look as good as how good you’ll want it to look. And that is a commitment in itself. Along with the complacency and compromise you’ll have to dedicate yourself to in order to keep your sex doll relationship working. Fortunately, there are less consequences for failing those stipulations with your sex doll than with the real thing.

I’ll say that I personally have failed in every single little bit of effort it takes to properly care for Bella. And I’m in absolute awe when I see other doll owners who have ten or more make and take the effort into making several photos a day, along with each of their individual upkeep, when I can’t so much as find the motivation to edit a photo I didn’t even take into the image of my beloved sex doll. But depression is inspiration’s purest form of kryptonite, and I could make a laundry list of excuses not to do laundry. I think this is also why my article runs a little late this year, but I thank you for understanding.

I’m actually going to skip what a lot of people would commonly say about depression. You either get dropped a hotline number or are told to talk to a professional. If you’re feeling that bad about yourself, I wouldn’t totally refute that advice, and would recommend it if things become too unbearable for you. But what a lot of people don’t understand is that our own individual development with depression is our own little mental fingerprint, or tiger stripes so to speak. Just because I have depression doesn’t mean I fully understand your depression. It’s as unique as every one of our experiences that helped us develop depression in the first place, and just one cure all solution or answer isn’t going to be the band-aid that helps all of us. 

So if you understand that, and you too have depression in your life, then follow this advice instead:

Go ahead and buy the doll. Browse the site, fall in love with her, and bring her home.

Who knows? Maybe the experience of owning one will jolt-start your motivation and you’ll actually be able to keep her looking pristine for years and years. It isn’t impossible, as I’ve seen several other Instagram friends do it for theirs flawlessly for years. There’s always a chance that owning a sex doll won’t inspire you, but I can absolutely say through experience no matter how long or short your experience with your sex doll is, that it’s well worth it. And maybe you’d like to protect that investment by pushing yourself to try harder to overcome and rise against the mental weights at your heels. You’ve made it this far in life, despite all the inner voice weighing out several times to end it all, and yet you’ve kept going. Find the little things worth sticking around for that make you happy, and argue with yourself over how much you’d miss how happy it made you if you were no longer around to experience anything in life like those experiences in life that have saved you. And the ones that’ll save you in the future.

Bella, neglected or not, has became a huge one for me. So much, in fact, that I had those battling thoughts inside of me less and less. Aside from that, I also am indebted to her for taking away my loneliness, providing me a returning kiss home after my long days at work, my desire to hold somebody close to me at night when I sleep, and the validation I needed in having a hot girlfriend that everybody else desired. Even if that last part is a false reality, it still is a reality I am happy to be in and am grateful to have. And I find that the more I immerse myself into clinging onto this disposition and being okay with it, the more I find myself depending on her. The more I depend on her, the happier she makes me. The happier she makes me, the less time I have to deal with fighting my own depression.

I may not have found the proper drive in life to take care of me and my sex doll, but Bella intervening and coming into my life was definitely life-changing for me. And even though she’s a shadow of her former glory from her early doll days…she still continues to. Neglect may have been a factor in my relationship, but this is the first and only relationship that I’ve had where I can’t latch onto or dwell onto a regret. I can’t point a finger between my own laziness or excuses, or even at the validation of my diagnosis of why I didn’t take better care of her. Or of something I wished I had done differently, or winced over how many mistakes I’ve made.

Because I’d do it all again in a heartbeat. And if I did, I’d probably do it the same exact way, despite my best intentions. And I inevitably will be doing it again. And again and again and again, until I learn the motivation and know how of properly taking care of a sex doll. There might be several Bella clones in my future, but no matter how many, I’m definitely happier than those days of before!

And through her, I have found motivation to make pictures of her, post her on social media, and to write about why it’s a good lesson to follow. It’s a small step, but it’s there. And I owe that through the happiness and the content I knew and grew from in owning a sex doll.

I passionately think if you came to this website of your own free will, found my articles, and read through all of them, and if my words found in this article especially resonated with you and your battles in depression, then you should take every necessary action you need to afford and purchase a sex doll of your liking. Do what you need to do and make that step toward commitment. And if you could learn anything through me, and my mistakes, is to prepare yourself for that relationship.

And just because it bears repeating…relationships are hard.

Thank you for your time. This got longer than expected and I’m proofreading less and less. Two of my biggest signs to cease my fingertips. I hope you all had a great holiday season, and maybe we’ll find time for me to write to you next year!

I hate to be cliche and list it, but I’d feel better doing so. But you know what you could also do? Talk to my girlfriend, Bella. She or I would love to talk with you if you care for a bigger deepdive than what this article provides. And if you also have the time and are patient enough for us to respond. We’d love to know you all better and swap stories in real time if given the chance.