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She's your dreaming companion


August 12, 2023188 ViewsShesDoll

It all started about 10 years ago when I first heard about these lifelike realistic female sex dolls. It was a friend who brought the sex dolls to my attention. I couldn’t tell if he was trying to be funny, or if he was sincerely offering good advice. At the time I had just gone through a divorce, and was struggling to keep any new relationships together. 

I was spending lots of money on beautiful younger women, and although I would “get laid” once in a while, it wasn’t really what I was after. I mean, not really. Sex is definitely nice, but I was just a lonely guy seeking companionship. So my friend showed me the original website that sold these lifelike dolls, and we laughed about the possibility of me investing money into one of these things. I felt really awkward about it, and we ended up just giggling and passing it off as a joke.

When I think back to this ‘now’, nearly a decade later, I wonder if my friend was just extending something that he possibly discovered for himself, the use of a full size real love doll. I am only guessing, but I suppose it’s possible that he actually owned one of these things, and thought it would help me if I owned one too. It only makes sense, now. He probably felt ashamed too, and didn’t want to open up fully unless my reaction was more positive. An adult love doll… mmmhh, interesting!


My life before buying a realistic sex doll

So, as the years progressed, I had many girlfriends, and continued believing that there was a woman out there somewhere who was ideal for me. I even tried living in a foreign country in hopes of making a more solid connection, but even this failed after about a year of living together. So, maybe I’m just hard to live with. Or perhaps I work too much and can’t focus on all of the love and attention required for a good healthy relationship. Maybe it’s not me at all. Could be just bad luck or poor choice in women. Whatever the case, I’ve come to accept that this companionship I have always sought is out there, but only comes in small doses and it tends to be relatively expensive, no matter how it’s packaged. I can spend a couple of hundred bucks and find the kind of companionship I’m looking for, whether it be in the form of a full body massage, counseling, a chatty hair stylist, a girlfriend or yeah… prostitution. (Though I have never really gone there, it has crossed my mind)

In the past couple of years, I’ve found myself more and more alone. There was a time when I was more active with people. I was a musician in my earlier years, and developed many thousands of friends and fans from the music scene. From that popularity, there was a time when I was able to fulfill fantasies with 2, 3 or even 4 girls at a time. It would seem that a guy, who has experienced so much, would have little to fuss about, but this is not really the case. As I aged, I eventually left the music scene behind, opting for a career with a much higher salary, which would soak up a lot of my available time and attention. From this change of lifestyle, I began to detach from people, and have found myself alone.

My life is a complete turnaround from the life I lived before. I have gained a lot of weight, and withdrawn into my private space. Where before, my life was very open and carefree, now it’s very closed and full of responsibility. It’s probably hard to imagine, but I am still a very grateful and happy person. It just so happens that I am alone most of the time.

Recently, I started thinking more about these realistic sex dolls. I would recall conversations with my friend from the past, so I started browsing the Internet and realized that in the past ten years, much has changed in the realistic sex doll communities. More people were talking about it and there were a lot of new options that weren’t available before. The dolls that once cost $6,000 were now available for around $2,000, which meant, I could actually afford one of these things now. Even if I didn’t like it, I figured… I could experience it for myself. 

To help settle my curiosity even more, ShesDoll offers a realistic torso doll for half the price. For around a thousand bucks, you can get a very realistic doll, with the same craftsmanship and quality. This torso doll is really only missing the legs, and there seems to be only one size available, but I figured, this could be a low cost investment to finally experience this for myself. It took me a while to finally decide. I had a few conversations with the company before I made my purchase. I guess I was skeptical whether they were legitimate or if I was going to be bamboozled. I did some research online looking specifically for websites that did reviews on a variety of sex doll vendors. My thought was to read reviews submitted by unbiased individuals who had nothing to gain whether you purchase at site A or B. There was a list of legitimate vendors available, but again; it’s hard to trust anyone these days, and we all know how easy it is to manipulate the system. I needed to gain the experience for myself, to develop my own trust, see it with my own eyes, and touch it with my own fingers. So the torso option was the perfect first sexy love doll for me.

I just bought a real life sex doll!

While waiting for the real life sex doll to arrive, I spent some time shopping online for clothing for this real sex doll. Being a man, it’s not exactly a natural thing to shop around for panties, bras, and soft silky things. I started learning things that I really never thought I would ever be inclined to know about, such as how to fit a bra based on certain measurements, or the different sensations of certain materials such as satin, lace, cotton and so on. We men often just throw on a T-Shirt, Jeans and a pair of Boxers, and we’re good to go. Women don’t have it quite so easy. I wasn’t sure what I was doing in the beginning, and to be quite honest, it wasn’t until the doll really arrived when I started to discover some of the things to shop for, which I’ll share with you in just a moment.

It took about a month to receive the doll and I managed to have some clothes ready when she arrived. It was delivered to my front door. I remember signing for it, and how nervous I was. Of course there’s no way the delivery man could have known what was inside. I just remember how heavy it was, and watching him move it upstairs to my second floor apartment.

I opened the box and carefully unwrapped the protective plastic wrapping and foam. I could smell the new plastic at first, but the mild odor faded away within a couple of days. I was eager to see ‘her’ in one of the outfits that I purchased, so I started by dressing the doll and ‘playing’ with her for a couple of hours. It was new, and exciting, and during that time I even named her (which I hadn’t even considered before she arrived). I also found myself kissing her, which really blew my mind. I mean, until I actually had one of these dolls in the privacy of my own home, I only considered the most obvious conclusions… it’s a sex doll! I figured, you have sex with it, you clean it, put it away, and repeat as necessary. I was wrong! It’s actually much more than that.

How is living and having sex with a real love doll

It took me about a week or two to adapt to the cold body. At first, all I could think of was a dead body. This was not good for my libido, so I didn’t really have sex with the doll for a while. Instead, I would just hold her, grab her ass or squeeze her tits while I jerked off. At first I tried to resolve the problem by purchasing a heated blanket, but I really only used the blanket once. It took a good 20 minutes to warm her up that way, and it really didn’t add anything to my experience. I found it more frustrating and worried that the blanket might actually cause harm to the doll, so I stopped using it. Instead, I would just cuddle up to the cold doll, using my own body heat to warm her up, which led to my discovery of ‘foreplay’ with a sex doll 😉 As weird as it may seem, I don’t really feel like she needs to be warmed up anymore.

Before I get too carried away, I’d like to explain some of the mistakes I made in the beginning with my torso doll. First of all, I did read all of the documentation available online. I watched all of the videos. I did my best to absorb as much information as I could. But sometimes, experience really is the best teacher. I learned very quickly that “new / unwashed” clothing will stain the doll; especially when the doll itself is still very new. Until you’ve applied a couple of coats of baby powder and rolled around with her a few times, her skin is a bit moist, and any material that touches it will quickly bleed color into the skin of the doll. I’ve found that the discoloration will go away on its own. I didn’t really scrub the doll. A gentle wash in warm soapy water and a bit of time to allow the stains to naturally go away was all that was needed. I bought a lot of black lingerie before she arrived, and since then, I started buying more light pink lingerie which is closer to her skin tone. I’ve found the darker clothes tend to leave dark stains (which shouldn’t be too surprising, although it was not obvious to me at first) I would not worry too much about owning black lingerie though. You could dress her up for a hot date, have some fun with her in her black lacy clothes, but remember to change her into her casual pinks before you allow her to sit for too long. Or better yet, just let her go commando for periods of time too. This has been my own personal experience.

I also learned early on not to bath her or submerge her into water. I read online that this can cause the doll’s skeleton to rust over time, and also may lead to internal mold growth. So I am following advice to sponge bath with a soft towel and avoid any rough abrasions.

I had great difficulty combing or brushing the doll’s wig. The problem was the hair was very long, and would get tangled very easily. I tried putting her hair in a ponytail, braiding, trimming, and so on. While rolling around with the doll, the hair would constantly end up in my face, mouth or eyes, and I just found it really annoying. So I ordered 4 shorter hair style wigs from a different website. The shorter style is still very feminine, but much easier to maintain. I like the pixie hair style, and found that this style works great for my doll, because whether she’s sitting, laying, hovering over me, or bouncing up and down, her hair doesn’t end up all over the place, and I never have to do anything to it. It just stays that way, always looking perfect. Just the way I like it.

Once in a while, I would prod my finger into the doll’s eye to straighten it out. It seems to go a little crooked once in a while. (Perhaps once or twice a month, not really very often) While doing this, I carelessly pulled one of her eyelashes away from the eyelid on one corner. It was my own fault, but I didn’t have any glue available to fix her. I inquired about the glue, but am still waiting to receive it in the mail. NOTE: The glue must be sent separately from the doll. It would be a good idea to order the glue separately so that you have it ready whenever you need it.

The first load of laundry I did with women’s clothing was kind of funny. Again, I didn’t know what I was doing. So I just threw her panties, bikinis, and lingerie into the mix with my trousers and button downs. My first load was troublesome because I realized that all of the strings and delicate parts could easily get tangled with the buttons of my shirt or harsh zippers from my trousers. My second load of laundry was a little less troublesome. I was thoughtful enough to tie all of the strings on her bikinis to help prevent them from falling out of their sleeves, but it really didn’t make much difference. They still came untied in the wash and I had to restring the bikinis anyway. I guess there are better methods for washing lingerie which I am still discovering with each new load.

I wasn’t really having sex with my real life sex doll initially, so I assumed that I wouldn’t need to clean the vagina, anus or mouth until I was ready for sex with my sexy love doll. I figured I didn’t actually stick anything in there. What could be so bad about not cleaning it if you don’t use the orifice, right? Well, once again, experience can be the best teacher. I discovered about a month later that even if you aren’t having sex with these “sex dolls”, their cavities still need to be cleaned with antibacterial soap. If you allow too much time between cleaning, the doll will begin to mold internally. I realized this when I fingered her one day, and smelled my finger to sort of test things before I go poking my other appendage in there. After cleaning her internally with warm antibacterial soap and water, I was finally ready to try it. I cannot stress enough how important it is to dry her internally after cleaning her too, especially if you are done with your business.

My second real sex doll

By now, I had already ordered my second doll. I liked the quality of the torso doll, but felt like I could make a better selection on the doll’s size and measurements. While there’s nothing wrong with the curvy torso, I am more attracted to petite women with a narrow bottom and smaller breasts. So while waiting for the second doll to arrive, I continued to learn and grow with my torso doll. I asked many questions with the company, and started to learn more about girly things. After all, she can’t shop for herself! You’re going to have to learn how to shop for her.

I ordered a couple of dozen sample perfumes at about $1 per sample. The vials come in 1 ounce sizes, which is more than enough. I started applying one perfume per day to the doll’s clothing, careful not to touch the doll’s skin in any way, and making notes about the experience on the perfume packaging. I’ve managed to narrow down the samples to my favorites, and by the time I finish going through all of them, I will know exactly what perfume turns me on the most and purchase a larger bottle when the sample runs out. What’s strange is, after sampling all of these feminine perfumes, I feel more inclined to do the same thing with men’s cologne next. I will likely purchase a couple of dozen men’s cologne samples after I am done testing for my doll to discover a good scent for myself. In this experiment, I’ll pay attention to real life women and how they react to my scent, or how the cologne makes me feel about myself. I wouldn’t have ever thought to do this if I hadn’t purchased a sex doll. So I see this as an added bonus to becoming a sex doll owner.

I recently received my second real life sex doll (the full body petite model mentioned earlier) and was very pleased. The legs are so sexy, and she has a perfect little body that drives me wild. I named the new doll, and started to figure out how things were going to work in the bedroom. I’ve actually been in a few threesomes before, but things are much easier in the flesh, as the women tend to throw themselves on you and cover you with affection. With two dolls, you’ll get no such interaction. In fact, it becomes a much bigger process setting things up just the right way, and although I’m still new at it, it’s hard to keep my libido while I’m still figuring things out. I imagine that eventually I’ll have it all figured out and things will become smoother. I am starting to realize some of the advantages of the torso model (it’s much easier to move her around in bed) But at the same time, those sexy legs and cute little ass really turn me on too and her lips are better suited for kissing! I feel very lucky to have the best of both worlds.

How a sex doll transformed my life

Another unexpected twist on owning a realistic sex doll is the exercise that I’ve been getting as a result of moving the doll around, and interacting with her. Before I bought the doll, I sat in my chair most of the day in front of a computer. I hardly got up except to eat, use the restroom and shop for groceries. Now, I find myself attending to this doll a couple of times a day, which is giving me a bit more exercise. I’ve actually lost a couple of pounds since owning this doll. More recently, with two dolls, I’m getting even more exercise. The two-doll experience is still very new to me, but it’s quite a workout, and I can feel the muscles developing each day as I continue to have fun with them.

Beyond the physical, I can say that having a doll around has helped improve my focus on my work. She gives me someone to talk to while I program on the computer. I actually setup my old office chair for her to sit on allowing her to watch me while I work. It’s comforting I guess, and in a weird way, it feels like someone has taken interest in what I usually only do in private. (I’ve never met a single person who could watch me work for more than 5 minutes without losing interest) My doll never blinks an eye, dedicated to staring at the code the entire time! Sometimes I explain programming problems to her out loud as if she were a real person, and it’s amazing that just the act of voicing it aloud, is enough for me to hear the problem and come up with a quicker solution. It’s a little different from voicing it in your mind’s eye. I used to dump my programming problems on my business partner from time to time, even though he doesn’t understand programming at all, he would often just listen to me babble and then after having the chance to explain it to him, I would come up with my own solutions. He has no idea that I purchased a sex doll, but he must be wondering why I stopped calling him and asking him to listen to my programming related problems. (I’m sure he doesn’t miss it either).

I know I’m not crazy, but I do talk a lot to my love dolls. I tell them where I’m going when I go out, and I share stories of things that I do while I’m gone. I apologize that they can’t jump in the Jacuzzi with me, or explain that they will never meet my friends because they simply just won’t understand. The conversations fill a void in me that would otherwise make me feel crazy.

One last thing worth mentioning. My last girlfriend cost me an average of about $500 per month. By ‘costs’, I mean buying meals, paying for movies, shows, flowers, unique experiences, gifts, etc. I never really put an ounce of thought into it before buying a doll, but while justifying the expense, I came to acknowledge that having a girlfriend can be expensive, and if you can purchase a doll with all of her cosmetics and clothing that you’ll need, you’ll be saving a lot of money after just a few short months. I own two dolls, an entire wardrobe of clothes, perfume, wigs, and so on, and maybe spent $3,500 altogether. There isn’t much else that I need to buy. They don’t eat anything, require no entertainment, and are pretty much the cheapest date you’ll encounter. They don’t argue, or get jealous, or embarrass you. No drama, although maybe some occasional maintenance required. I imagine I’ll still go out on dates from time to time, and I can’t see myself turning down sex with a real girl, but I already feel an elevated confidence with women with an attitude that I could take them or leave them, because I secretly have someone waiting for me back at home, my dolls. When I meet women “now”, I find myself acting less magnetized by their presence, which has a positive effect with women who seem to naturally feel more drawn towards me by my apparent disinterest. What an oxymoron! It’s this kind of thing that drives me further from women in the first place. It is all very confusing and never turns out quite as you hoped. With the dolls, there is no confusion at all.

Final thoughts about owning a sexy love doll

My story is still incomplete. It’s only been a couple of months since my first experience with one of these realistic sex dolls. I like having guests fly in from out of town to visit, but since I invited these dolls into my home, I feel it’s a bit crowded here, and I’d really like to preserve my own privacy. So, I’ll be moving into a larger home soon. I plan on keep ‘the girls’ upstairs in the Master bedroom, setting up my home office in a second bedroom upstairs so that they can continue to assist in my work, and creating a more ‘public’ lifestyle downstairs where I will keep all of my doll stuff unknown to guests. There will be 3rd bedroom downstairs for a guest room, and I aim to never share this private life with anyone for any reason.

So that’s my story. I’m not willing to share my true identity with anyone, but my experience is 100% genuine. If you are thinking about owning a realistic sex doll, I say… life is short! Don’t let life pass you by before you explore and discover the things that make you feel alive. For me, at the age of 45, having lived a good life with one past marriage, quite a handful of past relationships, and some rather memorable casual encounters, I never feel like I’ve seen enough.

These love dolls have opened some new doors, and I don’t believe this will be the end of the road for me. Things will be different, but just another evolutionary step towards the completion of my experience in this thing called “life”.