WOMEN MASTURBATION: WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW

This post helps women understand and embrace their natural ability to enjoy sexual self-pleasure without guilt or inhibitions. It iscusses why masturbation is healthy and offers step-by-step instructions on a wide variety of techniques.

This post is for all women—no matter their age, relationship status or sexual orientation. It’s possible that you’re exploring your sexuality for the first time or that you’ve got an experienced hand and are looking for new ways to play. Whatever the reason, you found this post and should be commended for it. You are on your way to the endless possibilities of self-pleasure!

There is no right, wrong or best way to masturbate. Every woman will have her unique preference and style—have patience and take time to discover what feels good to you. The techniques and recommendations offered in this post won’t be pleasurable for everyone—experiment at your discretion and stop if anything causes you pain, discomfort or irritation. Always use caution when playing with sex toys, and of course practice good cleanliness and safety habits.

If masturbation is new to you, the key is to openly explore it and give yourself time. Release your sexual inhibitions, have fun and enjoy yourself. Happy self-loving!

Masturbation is Healthy

Masturbation is the first natural sex activity for most women. Still, those who don’t discover masturbation as children can develop it as a learned skill. The problem is, some women don’t take the time to explore their full sexual potential. Some claim, “I tried it before and didn’t enjoy it,” never indulging again. Lack of knowledge or persistence might cause such resistance. When you had sex for the first time, was it completely enjoyable? The first time you ate spinach or sushi, did you really like the taste? Maybe, but probably not. Masturbation is no different: Just as you acquire taste for new food, you can learn to like masturbation. And just as your culinary tastes might develop over time, your preferred masturbation techniques will likely change also. Biologically, we were meant to experience sexual pleasure with and without a partner. As children, we touch ourselves and learn that stimulating our genitals gives sensual pleasure, but it isn’t until late childhood or adolescence that we recognize such behavior as “sexual.”

Masturbation helps you explore your sexuality, allowing you to harmlessly discover and fulfill your sexual needs and desires. Regardless of race, age, marital status or orientation, masturbation can help you develop a strong sex life—mentally, emotionally and physically. In 1972, the American Medical Association declared masturbation a normal sexual activity. An estimated 10% to 15% of women don’t pursue masturbation simply because they don’t know what to do. We all have sexual desires, so why should the lack of a partner deprive us from fulfilling our sexual desires? Why not take matters into your own hands?

For some couples, the climax of one partner means sex is over for both of them. The other partner might feel unfulfilled, cheated or both. When this occurs, women sometimes feel guilty expecting to have their needs met! We should never be ashamed or afraid to voice our needs. Suppose you were hungry and anticipated a luxurious dinner for two all afternoon. But if, when the meal arrived, your date said he felt full after the salad, you would hardly forego your own hunger and say, “That’s all right. As long as you’re satisfied, I’m satisfied.” If you’re still hungry, say so—your sexual needs are as real and valid as your date’s sex drive. You should be able to communicate your desires, as well as satisfy them, even if your partner is tired, indifferent or unavailable.

Some women fear masturbation will reduce the quality of their lovemaking with a partner. Others worry that it will over-stimulate them or condition them to respond only to a certain stimulus. But masturbation doesn’t jeopardize a healthy sex life, nor is it only an alternative to sex. Quite often, it can greatly enhance your sex life—with or without a partner.

Masturbation is Healthy Because …

• It boosts your self-esteem. Masturbation can help you overcome personal inhibitions and fulfill your sexual desires, fueling your self-confidence and self-image.
• It can help relationships. Just because two people choose to share their lives doesn’t mean their bodies share the same schedule. When sexual desires, levels of excitement or pace differ, sexual self-pleasure can fill the void.
• It’s consistent sex. Masturbation provides individuals with a sexual outlet during puberty, as well as between romances, marriages and divorce. With masturbation, you can remain sexually active your entire life—always on your schedule and as frequently as you like!
• It improves communication. Once you know exactly where and how you like to be stimulated, you can communicate these desires to your partner. You can show your partner what you like by guiding their hands and/or demonstrating yourself.
• There are physiological benefits. Regular orgasms induce a state of peaceful relaxation by releasing your body’s pleasure chemicals, called endorphins, from the brain. This process may help alleviate menstrual cramps and promote better sleeping.
• It’s safe sex. With the proper use of sex toys and good hygiene, masturbation reduces the possibility of acquiring or transmitting sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), including HIV and other common viruses transferred between sex partners.
• You can choose to be abstinent. If you refrain from sexual activities with others, masturbation provides sexual release without the need for a partner.
• It overcomes physical constraints. You can still enjoy sexual pleasure, even if your partner becomes ill or physically disabled.

Tips for Beginners

Historically, women have received mixed, even negative messages about masturbation. Even today, society conditions women to think masturbation is harmful, sinful and abnormal. Adults told us, when we were little girls, masturbation was bad and sometimes punished us for doing it. Overall, this repression of female masturbation promoted sexual insecurities, shame, guilt and fear. However, society is beginning to understand and accept that women across the world practice masturbation as a perfectly normal, healthy activity.

If you still can’t get past the notion that masturbation is dirty and obscene, you can learn to quell the noise. Your body is your body. No one else should control your sexuality. Tell yourself that this is healthy for you, and your body is a thing of beauty, not shame.

Start off slowly if you have to; you don’t have to do everything at once. If you’re shy, cover yourself with a blanket. Get comfortable just touching yourself lightly and follow a sexy fantasy. Or just squeeze your thighs together in a rhythmic motion. Give yourself a chance to explore what works for you. Here are a few tips to get you started:

• Stimulate your clitoris using a finger or an object to gently stroke the clitoris.
• Insert your fingers or sex toys into your vagina.
• Accept your fantasies. They’re yours; you don’t have to tell anyone.
• Whatever type of erotica works for you, go for it. As Paget says, your largest sexual organ is your brain, so get it involved.
• Get some helpers: a vibrator, lubricant, ben wa balls, whatever knocks your socks off.
• Take a shower. It’s where most people find out what they like. They are alone, naked, and touching their body. And for women with children, it is sometimes the only place they can be alone without being interrupted.
• Practice good hygiene to avoid getting urinary tract infections. Anytime you are doing anything to your genitals, wash your hands before and afterward. Clean sex toys after using them, and this is one time when you should never share your toys. Anything that goes anally never goes vaginally.

Come enjoy all the breathtaking passion you have coming to you… Stress-melting touches that satisfy you soul… followed by wave after wave of heart-racing orgasms like you’re never imagined!